There was a lot of drama going on over the weekend, too much to get into here, but suffice it to say God really worked overtime on me. The gist of it is....He made me realize how obsessed I've been with "self". Everything I did revolved around what I wanted people to think of me or say about me, to bring attention to me. I realized what a child I have been being the past 4 months since the break-up. How much unnecessary stress and drama and damage I have created. He broke my pride. It was like a switch flipped inside my head and I'm just over it. Ready to move on. My kids and I even hung out at the ex's house to watch the UFC fight on Sat. night. With him and his new girlfriend and her kids. AND we went to the pool with them on Sunday. I had never given his gf a chance. Every other time we were around each other I was too worried about making people think how strong and wonderful I was that I was even there dealing with it. This time it wasn't like that. My motives were pure. I was there because it was the right thing to do. It was normal. And it was wonderful. She's a very nice person and I actually think we will be friends. I'm not obsessing anymore, about them or me or others. All I want is to be a good example of a child of God and what He can do in someone's life. God is so awesome!!!
GRATITUDE
1. the sheer wonder and majesty of God
2. I've made some calm, good parenting decisions in the past few days, not caring if other people think I'm too strict, not caring if my kids aren't happy with the decisions
3. the weather has been absolutely beautiful!
4. I was able to be there for a friend last night instead of me being the needy one
5. my awesome sponsor
Still Sober...
7 years ago
Girl, you are much stronger than I am. I know that it had to be uncomfortable for you to be around them at first, but I am very proud you succeeded!!! Your journey just keeps getting better and better! Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteSee, the thing is, he's my kid's uncle, their dad's half-brother, so he's family AND he lives right across the street. So there is no avoiding them. I think that's part of what's made all of it that much more difficult.
ReplyDeleteAnd acceptance was the answer to ALL my problems! What a difference a few days can make, eh? This is huge growth and it took the pain to get there...keep it up Diane...it just keeps getting better!...well into your 2nd year!
ReplyDeleteAh! One year. Welcome to a whole new way of life. If and when I work at this new way of life, do things get better and better? No! I get better and better.
ReplyDeleteTwo phrases come to mind ...
ReplyDeleteThis Too Shall Pass
More Shall Be Revealed
Congrtas. Another step in recovery, the right direction and towards happiness. Times where all was black are over. Times were all seems to be black OR white seems to come to an end too. Well, girl, lets me at the rainbow. You are doing so fabulously.Hugs across the pond.
ReplyDelete