Women's bible study last night was awesome. We are studying the book of John. The teaching was all about obedience and it was perfectly timed. I had been feeling like chucking everything, my meetings, all of it. I was just having the feeling I didn't need it anymore. I had asked God for some clear direction on this. He came through (no surprise!). My sponsor texted me last night (after her not answering me for over a week) AND my counselor, who I haven't been to in months because I can't afford it, called me to see how I was doing. When I told her why I hadn't been back, she cut my fee and told me to pay what I could. So obviously this was all a thump on the head by God to let me know I can't do it by myself (duh). My problem had been that I felt I was dwelling on my addiction and abuse too much. I don't want them to be what defines me, I was putting myself into a box, and I started fighting against it. What I need to do is realize that these things ARE a part of me, and I do have to deal with them, but they are not ALL I am. So, my decision is to get back to my home meeting when volleyball is over and to get back to counseling twice a month.
From "Proverbs 31 Woman" email devotion:
"There's no place you can go that God can't follow. No heartbreak, no betrayal, no refection, no failure, no disappointment, and no evil can stop Him from coming near. God will always come. He cannot fail you. He will never quit you, never forget you, and never leave you. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
1) God's thumps on the head
2) lessons hopefully learned in bible study
3) a quiet weekend
4) I get to leave work at noon today
5) ALL OF YOU!!!!!! you all encourage and uplift me daily. THANK YOU!!