The other bump was when the kids and I were watching home movies from when they were little. I guess their dad (who I haven't heard from in almost 2 years; he's the abusive one) visited us when I was videotaping. Seeing him on the tv sent me into a near panic attack. I had to leave the room and I cried. I realized I have not seen or talked to him since being sober. That I had used the alcohol to numb all the feelings about what he did to me and now being sober I HAVE to deal with it. It only lasted a minute and I was fine but it reinforces something I've been feeling alot of lately and that is my issues are turning out to be so much more from the domestic violence than from the alcohol abuse. And I'm leaning more in the direction of counseling and helping women who are dealing with abuse, than helping people in addiction.
I think my girl realized I had an issue with their father and told her brother to fast forward through that part. We had the most fun at dinner than we've had in a long time. I haven't laughed so hard in forever. My kids were (are!) such dorks. So even with the little bumps in the road last night, we had a WONDERFUL evening.
1) God can and will shift my wrong attitudes/thinking about things
2) God helps me see my selfishness
3) I am lucky enough to own a video camera so that we can look back at our wonderful memories and have so much fun doing it
4) my sweet, sweet eldest girl who thought of me first
5) the VIKINGS are 5-0!!!!!!!!!! Going all the way, baby!!!!