Thankful

I am thankful for God's presence in my life. For His guidance. His amazing, overpowering love.

Things have been amazingly normal lately. I still have my moments. But I'm learning that the life I am living now is not the alternative to something better, it IS the better.

I am taking a break from blogging due to not much time and not really any inspiration to write. I'll come back from time to time.

Brutus...

This is Brutus. He just turned 5 on Sunday. He is an odd mix of pitbull and chihuahua (I know!). He looks like a pit whose legs didn't grow enough. Believe it or not, he was the runt of the litter. We named him Brutus as a joke. My eldest was fostering the whole litter and their mother and the other pups wouldn't let him feed so my daughter had to hand feed him. I fell in love with him instantly and he has been a part of our family since he was 8 weeks old. He weighs 40 lbs now. He is a MOOSE! But he is one of the most beautiful dogs I have ever seen. His brindle coloring is gorgeous, I just couldn't find a good picture of it.

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Wolfie made a comment yesterday that cracked me up. He said he'd never been in a relationship where cooking was an unhealthy activity. I never thought of it that way because I loved cooking so much, but because of the expectations I put on myself and the expectations I put on others reactions, it became that. It just struck me funny....unhealthy activity.

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I amazed myself last night. I had the meatloaf already in the oven when bil called and asked if the kids could go to dinner with him. I had absolutely no problem with this. The old me would have either said no in a very pissy way, or said yes but made everyone feel really bad because I had already started dinner. I just said yes and saved the meatloaf for Friday. Seriously, this was huge for me.

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I found out last night that the reason my boy never wants to go anywhere with bil (like my girl always does) is because he hasn't wanted to leave me alone. After all of the talk that my little nervous breakdown and subsequent trip to the psych ward this past summer hadn't affected him at all, he finally fessed up. I explained to him again that it was ONLY the medication that made me like that and that I am fine now. It was very sweet.

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Life....

~~The carnival at church was SOOOOOO much fun!! I worked a game booth all by myself and it was just so fun to interact with the children and try and make each one feel special.

~~I couldn't walk by the end of the night. Not just my entire body, but especially the injured ligament in my leg. I wanted to cry (but didn't)

~~I haven't cried in 3 DAYS!!!! Went ALL weekend without a breakdown of any kind whatsoever.

~~I spent alot of time in the kitchen on Sunday. I baked Snickerdoodles and sugar cookies and made a nice chicken dinner. I also made dinner last night and am again tonight. Don't get me wrong, I was feeding my children, just not really cooking. It has been MONTHS since I've spent a Sunday in the kitchen. The thing that got me through was remembering I was doing it because I LIKED it, not because I was trying to make someone like me, not because I needed validation from someone else.

~~We got a new phone system at work. I like it but it sure was a hassle changing it all.

~~ My printer at work died yesterday and I went out and got a new one and hooked it up ALL BY MYSELF!!

~~ I start going to my home Bible study this Friday. I am excited!!

~~God is amazing! He is allowing me to feel such freedom and relief lately.