The weekend...

I had a fabulously normal weekend! Did chores, laundry, homework, bbq'd steak for me and the kids, went to church, went to see Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D, sat outside while my kids threw the football back and forth, put up my fall decorations. It was nice and quiet and relaxing. Now back to the grind!

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GRATITUDE:

1) a wonderful weekend

2) my bathroom door is fixed (it was falling off it's hinges; bil came and fixed it on Sat.

3) it's supposed to rain this week!!

4) I decided on a subject for my research paper for Sociology: global violence against women

5) factoring trinomials has gotten easier with practice!

Factoring trinomials......

Seriously, when will I EVER in my life have to factor a trinomial??? I was at the point of tears last night with frustration. I stopped my homework, took a break, read a few verses in my Bible and prayed and went back to it and got it done. And it did get easier with the last few problems. Thankfully I have no plans this weekend except for homework, driving my son to church tonight and tomorrow night, taking him to coach hockey tomorrow afternoon, going to church myself on Sunday morning and then to the movies. Gee, that looks like alot now that I've written it out, but really, it's not. It will be a pretty relaxing weekend, praise God!!

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Gratitude:
1) the awesome comments y'all posted yesterday
2) I got through my algebra chapter without crying
3) it is sooooooo slow here today I'll probably leave at noon
4) the weather is STILL beautiful
5) while God is giving me such peace and a sense of normalcy, He is not letting me become complacent

Normalcy?

"Thank You, Lord, that in my distress I can call on You. And when I cry out to You, Lord, You hear my voice and answer (Psalm 18:6). May the joy of knowing You fill my heart with happiness and peace." (from Power of a Praying Woman)

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I feel normal. So normal, it feels strange, if that makes any sense. I'm not in a downward spiral nor am I on an upswing. I feel happiness and peace. Not everything is hunky dory. In fact, my outward circumstances have not changed at all. It's all an inner working in my heart. A gift from God. It's mind boggling to me. Just a few weeks ago I was despairing of EVER being back to normal. I am reveling in it. And I praise God for pulling me through it, making me wiser, more compassionate and better able to help and encourage others because of what I have endured.

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I am grateful:

1) for surviving my busiest day of the week yesterday.

2) for Jack in the Box for breakfast

3) that I worked out again this morning (good thing, too, considering #2)

4) that I have women's bible study tonight

5) I actually have money enough after paying bills that the kids and I can go see Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3D over the weekend.

Meetings....

Just to clear things up. I do not attend AA meetings or Celebrate Recovery meetings. I have never been to a "real" AA meeting. The meetings I attend are Christ-based 12-step meetings. We use the Life Recovery Bible and we do work the steps and discuss a different step each week. Most of the people who attend also attend AA. I came late to meetings, I was 8 months sober before I ever went to one. I wanted something that was Christ-centered. We welcome anyone and usually have at least 3-4 people who are not believers in each meeting. I have nothing against people with different views as mine. To me, I owe everything to God. Jesus is the basis, the foundation, of my life and my sobriety and my recovery. Being around people that feel the same and understand how hard it is to be a Christian who is also an alcoholic/addict is a very important part of my recovery. That's how we have Jesus in our meetings.
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Today I am grateful for:
1) my children came with me last night to fold brochures for the walkathon I'm on the committee for, they got along, and didn't complain about doing something for nothing
2) I figured out how to do graphs on Excel and my boss is going to be so happy with his reports when he gets back from vacation!
3) I worked out this morning
4) my girl made the volleyball team
5) I realized this morning that I'm not in an upswing or a downward spiral, but evened out. And it's not just today. It's lasted at least since Sunday. This is a miracle in itself!

Nothing much....

I'm going to try and keep up with things here.
My meeting last night was wonderful....full of Jesus. Very nice!

Today I am grateful for:
1) a wonderful meeting last night, with lots of new people returning
2) the Vikings beat the Packers!!!!!!!
3) I'm cooking more these days and my children are grateful they're not eating hot dogs and mac n cheese and spaghetti so often (cooking was a major trigger for my depression for a while)
4) the privilege of prayer
5) the awesomeness of God

DUH!!

Forgot my gratitude list:
1) the absolutely beautiful fall weather we've been having
2) everyone is healthy
3) my dad celebrated his 79th bday yesterday
4) I have come to realize that I am the sister-in-law, not the ex-girlfriend anymore, and that makes things so much better
5) this is the only October 5th, 2009 I will ever have and I plan to LIVE it, not just SURVIVE it!

YIKES!!!

I had no idea it had been so long since I posted!!!!
I had a pretty bad few weeks but seem to be coming out of it now. Everyone is healthy and I never got it, which is such a HUGE blessing. I started the Women's Bible Study at Harvest 2 weeks ago. Awesome!! And the beginning of November my Friday nights will switch back and forth between my recovery worship service and a home bible study through Harvest.
School is going great! I'm done with the 6 week Intro to College course and my English professor said I only need to go in to class on Wed, skipping Mondays and STILL get full credit!! Boo-ya!!!!
My boss has been on vacation for a week and still has one more week to go. It is deathly slow here because the new season for navel oranges doesn't start until the end of the month. I'm working on year end reports while it's slow.
So those are the basics of what's going on. Mentally and emotionally I have been on a major rollercoaster the past few weeks. Up and down. Feeling like I'm truly insane sometimes. But over the weekend (a nice calm NORMAL weekend, with barely any plans) a switch flipped in my head and in my heart and I've stopped being so impatient with God to change things RIGHT NOW. I've accepted my reality. I've accepted my "today". I have peace and calm and it's WONDERFUL!!!